Mealtime approaches and Ray Carver, a big, quick-witted man, is anxious to eat. He sets the table in a hurry and opens cartons of leftover carryout Chinese. We sit down, and as we begin, Rayâs lover, an impish, dark-haired woman, tells a story: âLast fall I found a great Irish place called Colemanâs, and I wanted to take Ray. So we set out one night for dinner, but Colemanâs is all the way across town, and every time weâd pass a Wendyâs or a McDonaldâs, Ray wanted to stop. I kept saying, âNo, donât you want to go to Colemanâs?â He was getting fussier, but we finally made it.â
âYou bet,â says Ray. âThe food was good.â Heâs relaxed some after taking the first bites of Chinese.
âSo now,â Tess Gallagher says, when we look at each otherâs workânew stories or poemsâwe say, âNo, you didnât get that one quite to Colemanâs.â Or when a thingâs good, âBy golly, you really got that one all the way to Colemanâs!â â
We laugh, and in this moment Rayâs hunger has been turned to merriment and metaphor. His anxiety to eat on time is very real, physical, a residue from his long years on the bottle. He hasnât had a drink in a decade, and for most of that time, it turns out, heâs been living with Tess, a strong-willed poet with some hard luck and sound success of her own.
Late one afternoon, as we drive in their big Mercedes and Ray lights another Now 100, we talk about smoking and the things you shouldnât do, and Tess, cracking a rear window, letting in damp Pacific air, says lightly to Ray, âGod has given you to me to take care of.â Outside, itâs what Tess calls the blue hour. The Olympic Mountains in evergreen and melting snow, the Strait of Juan de Fuca reaching twenty-two miles to Victoriaâs urban shore, the town of Port Angeles beneath us, are shades of deep watercolor blue. The towns near Port Angeles are Sequim, Sol Duc, Discovery Bay, Forks, Sappho, Gardiner. There is woodsmoke in the air, and the sound of chainsaws and foghorns.
Ray snuffs his cigarette, and we cruise down toward Port Angeles, the small mill town where Tess was raised and where she and Ray now spend most of each year, a place remarkably like Yakima, where Ray grew up in the forties and early fifties.
Ray Carverâs checkered life story is familiar to the small world that pays close attention to whoâs who in American writing. His spare short-story masterpieces about hapless characters in straitened circumstances have influenced a generation of younger writers and prompted what some have called a short-story renaissance in this country. He is greatly recognized in England, Holland, Germany, France, Denmark, and Japan, where his story collection Cathedral is a best-seller. His papers are of increasing value to libraries and collectors, and there are perhaps a few thousand fansâprofessional literatiâwho could tell you that Ray met his ex-wife, Maryann, when he was sixteen and she was fourteen and that within two years she was pregnant, gave up a scholarship to college, married Ray, and together they began a life of reckless hope.
Tess Gallagher has not met Maryann, though in Port Angeles Tess and Ray are not far from the town where Maryann lives on a parcel of land with Ray and Maryannâs daughter, Christine, her two daughters, and Christineâs come-and-go biker husband, Shiloh. Tess, whose style inclines to passionate contrastsâblacks and whites, deep wine reds, purplesâwhose long dark hair, often twisted up with pearled combs or tortoiseshell sticks, and fair complexion remind me of the Kabuki masks she collects, tells me plainly what she has heard about Rayâs marriage: âPeople who knew them then say they lived from dream to dream, each new dream as good as the next, a real possibility, while the present grew worse and worse, horrible in fact.â
Tessâs information is accurate, from family and old friends who knew Ray as the son of a drunken mill hand in Yakima, and knew him later as a janitor who wanted to be a writer. But her facts could have come from reading Rayâs fiction. âDrinkingâs funny,â Ray wrote in a story called âGazebo.â âWhen I look back on it, all of our important decisions have been figured out when we were drinking. Even when we talked about having to cut back on our drinking, weâd be sitting at the kitchen table or out at the picnic table with a six-pack or whiskey.â
In 1976, when Carverâs first book of stories came out and was a finalist for a National Book Award, he was pushing forty, nearing the breakup of a twenty-year marriage. His son and daughter were almost grown but by no means settled or happy, his working life had been a series of mostly menial jobs, with time stolen for writing (often in the front seat of a parked car), and he had given himself up to serious drinking. To his credit, heâd published three books of poems, contributed a story to Martha Foleyâs Best American Short Stories annual, attended the Iowa Writersâ Workshop, published in big monthly and little quarterly magazines, received the encouragement of John Gardner and Gordon Lish. Yet his health was dissolving and he didnât care if he ever wrote again. He spent most of 1976 in and out of hospitals and drunk farms.
Tess first saw Ray in November 1977 in Dallas, where both were feature attractions at a writing conference and Ray gave a reading of a short story about one of his bankruptcies. Tess remembers his shakiness on stage, and she wondered âhow he could do it, hold himself together. He seemed so fragile.â Carver had quit drinking five months earlier.
The following year they met again by chance at a writersâ conference in El Paso. Carver had won a teaching job there and was just coming down from Iowa City, which he left driving his son Vanceâs cast-off Olds. The car died in Van Horn, Texas, and Carver arrived in El Paso on a Greyhound, carrying in his arms a single cardboard case of belongings.
In El Paso, Tess and Ray started going out with a gang of friends. They crossed the border into Mexico for a bullfight; they went to faculty parties, to a Texas poolside barbecue; and one night they went out together alone. Tess was nervous, fiddling with an earring, so nervous she pulled the ring through her lobe and then covered her ear with her hand as if fixing her hair. Finally she said, âI think I have to go to the hospital.â
At the emergency room, while they worked on Tessâs ear, they accused Ray of abusing her. Tess says: âWhen we drove away from the hospital, his line to me was âI canât just let you go home after this.â â
They went to Rayâs, where, Tess tells me, there was a bed with sofa cushions for pillows, and for pillowcases white T-shirts pulled over the cushions. âDo you know what he said?â Tess laughs. âHe said, âIâm a forty-year-old without a pillow.â â
Five years younger than Ray, Tess had already published two books of lyric poetry that drew on the voices of family and friends in the Pacific Northwest. Sheâd won a Guggenheim Fellowship and was living in an unheated cabin near Port Angeles, and she and Ray began writing each other and placing long late-night calls and visiting back and forth, until Tess moved to El Paso.
Ray describes El Paso folk as people with two of everything and more than willing to lend housewares and furniture. Tess remembers Ray pulling up to their new home with a borrowed antique dresser on the back of a rented truck. One of the drawers had fallen out on the road somewhere. Ray hunched his big shoulders, frowned, and said, âI donât know where it went! We wonât find it now.â Tess sent him to look. And when he found it miles back on the highway, she glued and patched it together. She told him: âYou have a lot of bad luck, donât you? Thatâs going to have to change if youâre going to be around me. I donât want to be around that much bad luck.â
Bill collectors were circling Ray. âThe gasman came around one day,â Tess says, âand I opened the door and said, âMay I help you?â
â âIâm here to cut off the gas.â
â âBut I need gas.â â
âIt wasnât that there wasnât any money then,â Ray says. âIt was that I still wasnât any good at taking care of things.â
âThatâs when I took over all that stuff.â
âIâm not very good at details.â
âBut you take on a lot of detail work now.â
âYes, thatâs true.â
But money was a problem in El Paso. Their first bad fight was over a credit card Ray wanted to borrow to take to Houston. âA reformed alcoholic with two bankruptcies!â Tess says. The argument ended with Tess tossing the card on the bed. âTake it!â she said. And now, in the retelling of this small domestic tale, there rises between them laughter, the mirth that is so much the sound of their voices. Sometimes, too, a look passes between them, a gleam of competition over who will use the material first and who will write it best.
It is late. We are drinking small, strong coffees from an espresso machine theyâve just bought. Ray finishes, gets up, and stokes the woodstove for the night. Heâs a little restless and does not look or move at all like a man who almost died from booze. He clears our cups and saucers to the sink, and at the counter switches on the playback of a telephone-answering machine: a British magazine publisher who calls every day asking if Ray wonât please send him a story; an old poet friend of Tessâs calling from New England to say hi; Tessâs sister-in-law about dinner plans for tomorrow night; an editor asking about a book of essays sheâs doing with him; one of Rayâs relatives, who doesnât leave a clear message but likely needs help of some kind; Tessâs brother Morris, who says he treed a bobcat this morning but couldnât get a shotâan entire day and a half of connections, in a world that gives life to art.
Ray shuts off the playback and takes the phone off the hook. Next morning we plan to rise at four and go fishing for steelhead trout. But the rivers are muddy and swollen with rain, and we drive back home at sunrise, the long swift caravans of logging trucks blowing past us. The classic 1950s and â60s cars and trucks on the road look picturesque, but are a matter of economy. Vietnam vets have moved here from all over the country, and Tess tells me, âThis is a good place to come to heal.â
After El Paso, Ray and Tess moved to Tucson, where Tess had a teaching appointment at the University of Arizona. That was 1979, and Ray had been given a Guggenheim Fellowship to spend a year on his fiction. Tess would often go off and write, sitting on a park bench. But Ray was not writing. He says, âAfter I got my health back, I didnât care about the writing. Every day was a bonus. Still is.â
Tess says, âI didnât know if he would ever write again, and in one way it didnât matter, but in another it really did. One day I said to him, âWhy donât you write me something good to read.â Well, he started, and then an essay I was working on, âMy Fatherâs Love Letters,â got him going to write âFires.â â
In âFires,â Ray recalled his life with Maryann and the children: âThere were good times back there, of course; certain grown-up pleasures and satisfactions that only parents have access to. But Iâd take poison before Iâd go through that time again. . . . My kids were in full cry then . . . and they were eating me alive.â What am I to make of this? Ray wondered. The obvious answer is art. Tess, in her own essay, had considered the terrible effect of her fatherâs drinking: âUnreasonableness could descend at any minute. . . . Emotional and physical vulnerability was a constant. Yet the heart began to take shelter, to build understandings out of words.â
Tess is twice divorced, once from a Marine Corps jet pilot (âa sweet man, he forgave me my defectionâ) and later from a poet whose poems she had fallen in love with. She brought the poet to Port Angeles to live in a trailer next to her parentsâ house, and one night after his shouting and abuse brought her father out and then her mother to restrain her father, Tess said she and her husband would leave. Her mother said, âNo, your fatherâs just drunk. But I donât understand why youâre with that manâheâs drunk and crazy. But youâve made your bed, youâll have to lie in it.â
Tess, speaking her motherâs old cautions about life and men, echoes the bitterness and pride bred in families like hers and Rayâs. During the Depression, Tessâs father came to the Olympic Peninsula from Missouri, and Rayâs father from Arkansas. They took up logging work, sent for their relatives, married, and started families. Tessâs father had the one pair of cork boots the family could afford. So, in street shoes, her mother set the choker that drags felled trees toward the truck for loading. The five children played to one side, and danger was a constant. Tess, who went without shoes until first grade, tore her foot on a piece of glass in the woods one day. Carver, hearing the story for the first time, perceives immediately, âYour father felt you had betrayed him, lost him a dayâs work.â
âOh yes! He wrapped a dirty cloth around my foot and drove me to the hospital, but didnât say a word all the way in.â
Ray tells of being ashamed of the poverty of the house he grew up in. He recalls the night his mother locked his father out, and when he came home drunk and tried to crawl through a window, she knocked him cold with a heavy skillet. He lay out on the ground till morning.
The fathers drank, and heavy burdens fell on the wives and children. In the end they would nurse the dying fathers, but long before that Ray and Tess worked to get away, to find and earn an education.
Tessâs father wouldnât help with college. It would be a waste, he said. She was oversexed and would just run off and marry. And Ray was always baited about school: What are these books? Didnât make you any smarter, did it? Didnât make you any richer.
Earlier this year Tess turned down $20,000 for a monthâs teaching because she wanted to keep on with her writing. Since 1983 Ray has held the Mildred and Harold Strauss Livings Award from the American Academy and Institute of Arts and Letters, which provides $35,000 a year for five years. This fall Rayâs fourth book of poems, Ultramarine, and Tessâs first short-story collection, The Lover of Horses, will bring to ten the number of books theyâve published over the past three years. Ray, who drafts his stories quickly, set an example for Tess in the composition of The Lover of Horses, and Tess, in wanting to get âall the way to Colemanâs,â encouraged the full, luminous endings of newer Carver stories like âFeathersâ and âCathedral.â
In Port Angeles they share two houses. The one overlooking the Strait of Juan de Fuca was built with money Tess earned from her poetry. The other, across town on the bad side of Port Angeles, in what his readers would clearly recognize as Carver country, with its junk-ridden side yards and cars raised on cinder blocks, he paid for himself. Each house has two desks. Tess says, âI donât go into his study much at all, donât presume to. Only another writer can understand a writerâs need for solitude.â I ask if they ever think of marriage. âOh yeah,â Tess says, âweâve talked about that. Sometimes we think weâll marry on a ship going to some strange place. Sometimes we think itâs the unofficialness that makes it.â
On a spring Saturday so bright and clear that from a great distance we can pick out with bare eyes bald eagles roosting on their nests high in fir trees on the shore, we finally do go fishing, not for river steelhead but out on the strait for salmon. A Nakamura freighter loaded with wood sends us bobbing in its wake as it leaves port for Japan. âLook out,â Ray says. But Tess has already grabbed the rod. âItâs a big one! Is it a big one?â Ray shouts. He and I move in to help, but Tess, who has fished the strait all her life, reels it in, a fifteen-pounder. Theyâre both laughing, and Ray gives her a big hug.
Itâs early Sunday afternoon, and in a couple of hours Ray and Tess will give a reading at the Port Angeles library. Ray will read an essay about his father, then Tess will read a story about a father something like her own. But now itâs still early and Tess plays Chopin on the piano, plays and practices while Ray reads and smokes. Over in Yakima, the house where his mother crowned his father with a skillet has partly burned and weeds have grown up inside. And down near the mills of Port Angeles, where her father walked to work in the years after he left the woods, the yard of Tessâs first home is more dirt than grass, the window of her room hung with a childâs patchwork quilt. Tess plays Chopin with quick emotion, Ray smokes and reads, and the house on the bad side of town fills with the wordless sound that lies beneath their best work, and it occurs to me that it might be too much to expect Ray to give up smoking too, that Tessâs father died not long ago of lung cancer, that she hates it and has been good in not saying much about itâat least not in front of meâand that Ray may someday give it up. Yet Tess does not take nor would she deserve credit for his change. Whatâs true, I think, is that together theyâve been happy and faithful and cautious of all thatâs ill. One feels between them an accumulation of gentleness and strength, a concert of energies. They seem joined by fate, and careful of it.